“I think that we shall never see / a podcast as lovely as episode 134.”
(Yes, we know it doesn’t rhyme.)
In this episode of MASH Matters, Jeff & Ryan wax poetic about another round of listener questions. Topics include the magnificence of Larry Linville, M*A*S*H-inspired parties, dirty long johns, neti pots, love for “Letters,” forgotten polls, bonding over Packo’s, and more. Plus, we say Goodbye, Farewell, and Amen to not one, but TWO beloved M*A*S*H actors.
Goodbye, Farewell, and Amen
Joshua Bryant 1940-2024
Dennis Troy 1943-2016
Private Igor: The Mess Hall Menace
by listener John H.
At the 4077th, where the wounded came fast,
There stood Private Igor, a cook unsurpassed—
Not in skill, nor in taste, nor in fine cuisine,
But in making chow hall nightmares unforgettably obscene.
His coffee could melt through a five-ton Jeep.
His stew once caused a Marine to weep.
His mashed potatoes could be used to paper a wall.
And his Jell-O once bounced straight out of the mess hall.
For lunch one day, with a gleam in his eye,
Igor prepared pickled beef—no one knew why
it shimmered, it wobbled, it smelled kind of sweet,
But tasted like rubber with undertones of feet.
“Today’s lunch,” he announced with a mischievous grin,
As the doctors all braced for the horrors therein.
Hawkeye took one bite and nearly passed out,
B.J. examined it—“It’s alive!” he did shout.
Even Father Mulcahy prayed for a sign,
that Igor might learn how to properly brine.
Klinger, in gowns, refused to partake—
Said, “I may be crazy, but I’m not eating that steak!”
Yet through all the chaos, one truth remained clear,
Igor’s cooking was everyone’s fear.
For through battle and bloodshed, one challenge stood tall—
Surviving whatever he served in the mess hall!
Awwwww…
Meet Radar, listener Kim’s nighttime companion.
Our Merch Store has a new look!
#MASHhack
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